Things You Should Never Say To People With Chronic Illnesses

  1. ‘But you don’t look sick?’
    Please inform me what ‘sick’ looks like. Is it the pale skin, black bags under the eyes, and greasy hair that looks sick? I forgot that a bit of concealer and dry shampoo can cure chronic illnesses. You caught me on a good day. You should see me on a bad one, and then tell me if I look ‘sick’
  2. ‘Do you just not want to hang out? This is the 3rd time you’ve cancelled’
    We can’t help that we have to cancel all the time. We make plans, but on the day, we can’t even face getting out of bed, let alone driving an hour to see you. You don’t understand how difficult it is to not be able to see your friends, and then go on social media, and see them all having fun without you.
  3. ‘Have you tried going gluten free?’
    Okay, I am fully aware that people do have allergies to gluten, but I’m pretty sure that not eating bread is going to cure me.
  4. ‘Oh I get tired a lot too’
    You don’t get it. Yes, you get tired. We get exhausted. Imagine having jet lag, whilst having flu, whilst trying to run a marathon. That is how we feel. Don’t tell us that you get tired too.
  5. ‘I wish I got to lie in bed all the time. You’re living the dream!’
    Good for you. I don’t. I wish I was out and about. I wish I was seeing my friends and going on nights out. I wish I was at work. But I’m not. I’m sat in bed in agony, counting down the seconds until I can take more painkillers.
  6. ‘You know, my sister had the same condition as you, but she when vegan and it cured her’
    Again, good for her. If going vegan cured an incurable chronic illnesses, I’m pretty sure the meat business would go bust. Until there is evidence that going vegan will cure me, I’m going to sit here and eat my Big Mac.
  7. ‘Do you actually want to get better? It seems like you don’t even try’
    You don’t understand. Everyday we try. Everyday we try to keep breathing. Everyday we try to take 1 more step than yesterday. Everyday we keep pushing ourselves to get better, but then sometimes it’s too much and we end up suffering. We all try. None of us want this lifestyle.
  8. ‘Maybe if you stopped sleeping in the day, you would be able to sleep better at night’
    The reason I sleep in the day is because I was up all night in agony. The reason I sleep in the day is because I’m so exhausted from getting up and brushing my teeth. The reason I sleep in the day is so I don’t have to put up with judgemental bitches like you.
  9. ‘Are you sure you’re ill? It’s impossible to have all of them problems’
    I wish I wasn’t. But I am. It apparently is not impossible for one single human to have over 7 chronic illnesses, but guess what? It’s possible and I wish it wasn’t.
  10. ‘Start going to the gym, and you’ll feel better in no time’
    Our gym is brushing out teeth. Our gym is making breakfast. Our gym is getting dressed. Just travelling to the gym itself would be enough to break some people.
  11. ‘Are you addicted to painkillers or something? All you do is pop pills’
    In a roundabout way, yes. I am addicted to painkillers. You know why? Because I’m addicted to feeling like myself. I’m addicted to feeling pain-free. And if that makes me a bad person for wanting to feel normal, sue me. I am not addicted to the side effects, I’m not addicted to having to carry 10 boxes around with me and I’m certainly not addicted to having to take them every 4 hours. I’m addicted to feeling like regular old me.


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  1. 17th June 2017 / 5:18 am

    I can see myself in all of these 🙁 I have a skin condition called diffuse systemic sclerosis which can ultimately make me end up with organ failure, but since its all hidden under my clothes people talk shit all the time. 🙁 I really hope people would be more accepting of the invisible illnesses.

    • 17th June 2017 / 11:20 am

      That sounds horrible! I’ve been told I’ve been making it up more times than I can remember! Hope you find relief soon 😔

      • 18th June 2017 / 4:01 pm

        That’s the worst one can do, I could never do that to someone! I would rather believe them and then maybe get proven wrong than disbelieving someone and hurt them. Thank you! Relief is something we all could need x

  2. myliron
    17th June 2017 / 8:39 am

    Thanks for your honest and true post
    We live in a world where everyone things their problems are always bigger than yours so if u mention your problem they have to come up with either something worse or they just tell you to deal with it

    • 17th June 2017 / 11:38 am

      100%! People are all about moaning about themselves, but then you say that youre having a bad time, they don’t want to know! x

  3. 17th June 2017 / 10:48 am

    I can totally relate! 2 months ago, I was diagnosed with 2 chronic autoimmune diseases and I have to take 10 pills a day for the rest of my life! People around me can’t seem to accept the fact that a chronic disease never goes away. They’ve been telling me to try to reduce stress because that will surely make it go away… People often don’t understand so you just have to accept the fact that they probably never will… Sad but true!

    xx, Kris

    • 17th June 2017 / 11:40 am

      Very true words! People think that simple tasks or diet changes will cure us! I wish it did! I hope you can find some relief soon xxx

  4. 17th June 2017 / 11:43 am

    People are ignorant & if it is something they don’t understand or live with, they think it isn’t real. However you posting about this brings awareness & that is a wonderful thing. Keep doing you boo boo xx

    • 17th June 2017 / 11:45 am

      Thank you so much! Every little bit of awareness helps! I found that people I was close to weren’t even willing to learn/ask what was actually wrong! xxx

      • 17th June 2017 / 11:49 am

        It definitely does & I’ve learnt a lot from you blog posts! Unfortunately people are close minded & are so scared of illness and they don’t know how best to react – you can’t do anything to change that & you’ll learn a lot about other people. In your toughest times you’ll find out who really cares & sometimes that’s a good thing (even though it really hurts at the start) xxx

        • 17th June 2017 / 11:51 am

          I’m so happy you’ve learnt something from my blog!!! I’ve lost loads of friends from being ill, but honestly, I feel so much better now since I’m not being surrounded by toxic people! xxxx

          • 17th June 2017 / 11:54 am

            Then they weren’t really your friends to begin with doll, the real ones are there for you always not matter what!xxx

    • 19th June 2017 / 6:40 am

      Me too! I wouldn’t wish a chronic illness on my worst enemy, but I do sometimes wish that they would take a walk in our shoes, just to see what it actually is like! X

  5. 19th June 2017 / 6:10 pm

    Although I haven’t had a chronic illness, I did have a very bad parasite infection for about a year which was initially undiagnosed. I’m just starting to get better now, but before I was honestly convinced that I had a chronic illness myself. It really gave me an insight into the life of people with serious health problems. Like I said, I’m not trying to compare the situations – I can only imagine how hard it is for you. People are really inconsiderate a lot of the time; the best you can do is inform them and then see who has the brains to understand your situation and stick around and who still says “you don’t look sick”. Best of luck x

    • 19th June 2017 / 7:27 pm

      Oh god! That sounds awful! I really do hope you recover faster! Its such a shame that people 1) say these things, and 2) aren’t willing to learn or listen! Thank you so much hun xx

  6. 7th July 2017 / 7:13 pm

    Invisible illness is everywhere. Kindness is essential.

  7. 14th August 2017 / 10:51 pm

    I’ve just come across your this post whilst i’ve stumbled upon your blog. This is SO spot on! Sadly I can relate to all 11 in the list due to suffering with CFS/M.E. There need’s to be more knowledge on invisible illness’, It’s a shame that people can be so thoughtless and small minded that they don’t even try to understand. I recently wrote a post trying to raise the slightest bit of awareness and thought about incorporating it more into my blog and doing some sort of series like your own as you’ve really inspired me. It would mean a lot for you, or any other suffers out there to check it out.

    • 15th August 2017 / 11:30 am

      Sorry to hear that you’re suffering with M.E too! Its the first chronic illness I got diagnosed with! I’ll definitely check it out now! x

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